What I Should Have Said

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This is a very quick snapshot of a girl who is going through the age-old mantra of falling in love with what may seem to be the wrong guy,

Enjoy!

Yours truly,

Mo x

Grace was pottering around all morning after she got the phone call from the police station. A million things flitted through her mind. Should she call him? Should she go visit him? If she visited what should she bring? Would he even want to see her? To say she was confused on what to do is an understatement. Grace glanced outside her window and watched how the window panes were covered with sheets of water. Typical British weather. She decided that she would not go and visit him only to be turned away and be at the risk of catching a cold. 

Grace checked her clock and saw that it was 4.00 pm. 'The post man will be here soon', she thought. She rushed to her room and pulled out a pen and paper and began tow rite the following letter:

Dear RJ,

I highly doubt that I would ever have the courage to tell you this face-to-face so I thought that I would resort to using a more traditional mode of communication. I shall jump straight to the point as I know you wouldn't want me beating around the bush after what I did. I just thought I would try to explain why I mistakenly sent you to the A&E. I swear that that was not my intention at all. You just...pissed me off.

Look, I know that it is not your fault that when you walk into a place where I am in my heart literally skips a beat or beats that much quicker. I know it is not your fault that I turn into a mumbling idiot when you try to include me in conversations amongst our friends. I know it is not your fault that I spilt red wine all over your mothers white rug on your 18th as I was trying to show off my new dress (Soo sorry about that. Again). I know it is not your fault that every time you laugh I am immediately happy because you are. I know it is not your fault that I get immensely jealous when you get off with girls at clubs or get chatted up by them when we are out. I know that it is not your fault that you are not attracted to me in any way. I know that it is not your fault that you feel comfortable enough around me to ask me for advice on how to make up to your girlfriend of the year. I know that it is not your fault that you have no idea of how much I care about you and for how long because I have never let you told you. I know that it is not your fault that you had no idea that I am pregnant with the child of a man that cheated on me with my sister. I know that it is not your fault that I no longer the girl whom you used to swim with your back yard in just my swim shorts because my parents didn't see it fit to put a tank top on me or put me in a one-piece.

And most of all, I know that it is not your fault that I drenched your new squeeze in lemonade, punched you so hard that I broke your nose, knocked you unconscious and caused you to be cooped up in A&E because I could not find the words to tell you what was going on with me. 

I am very sorry about making your 25th a party to remember. I am sorry that my shitty life has caused you so much pain. It is just...you did not notice!  You didn't notice that I had cut my hair. You didn't notice that I had broken up with Deji. You didn't notice that I wasn't drinking or that you poking fun at my "sudden" weight gain was not funny. Not to me at least. I know I should have just told you these things instead or resorting to violence but you just rub me the wrong way. You always have. 

Anyway, do not worry. I will never contact you again after this. I just hope that this sort of sheds a little light on what was going on in my head.

Love, Grace xx

P.S. Thanks for dropping the charges by the way. I doubt I could have handled giving birth in jail. That would most definitely have sent me to the loony bin. 


When she was done, she placed it in an envelope, rushed downstairs to go and catch the postman who was just about to leave but was holding the door open for someone. As Grace was about to call out to the postman she stopped dead in tracks. For the person that the postman was letting into the building was the very last person she wanted to see.

'We need to talk', said Deji.

Letters: #4

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A new Letter will be posted on a Sunday until the end of this series.

Enjoy!

Yours truly,

Mo x








Dearest Funmi,

I know this may seem like we are punishing but we are not. We are disciplining you. What you did or did not do is not the issue right now. It was the fact that you were involved in such a crowd. I did not bring you into this world for you to be associating yourself with such people. And your father most certainly did not. Do you want to end up in jail? Because that is where you were heading.

Cornerstone is a good school. Your father and I both went there and we both benefited a lot from it. Forcing you to find other ways of communicating is to teach you not to be come dependent on the internet. In my time we did not have Facebook or Twitter but we still survived. It can be done.

I hope you understand where we are coming from Funmi. I know we have not spoken properly since the event but I want you to know that I love you. I shall be coming to visit you in 3 months after which we'll go to grandma and grandpa's house for Christmas and New Year's.

Love,

Mum

Read It Or Not: 'he's just not that into you'

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The next book that my eyes will be feasting on is 'he's just not that into you' by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.

I cannot wait to read the book that one of my all time favourite movies was based on. I am not ashamed to say that I have had a crush on a guy who may not have been into me (or known I even existed for that matter) i.e. Idris Elba.

I guess I have to be patient and turn the pages of this book to realise all the "mistakes" I have been making.

This is is my book for August.

Feel free to join me on this adventure or share your verdict on the books I plan to read or recommend the ones you love.

Yours truly,

Mo x

B.L.E.U.R.G.H

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Ever had a bunch of emotions wrack your body all at once that make you feel something you cannot explain, and simply describe your current state as - bleurgh?

Broken.

Lonely. 

Exhuasted. 

Ungrateful. 

Run Down. 

Gutted.

Hollow.

These are all words I would use to to make up the the word bleurgh. It is a moment in your life where things do not make sense. It is a time where your insides try to violently claw its way out of you through your mouth. It is a point where you wish time will just stop so that could have a chance to catch up with all that is happening around you.

Bleurgh.

Is that even a real word? I guess for each and every one of us it carries a different meaning. A meaning that can hardly be a meaning if it has so many different shades to it. Surely a word can only mean a set number of things, no?  There are approximately 7.1 billion people in the world. Can a word really have that many different number of meanings? 

Some say it is the sound you make when you throw up. So, I guess one can say that bleurgh  is that point in time when your body reacts badly, as a side reaction perhaps,  to a situation that either you found yourself in by chance or that you put yourself into.

To put it simply, bleurgh  is a state of mind that one may find themselves in, such that they are unable to coherently elucidate to another with words so resort to allowing their body to do the talking.

Yep, I am done rambling now.

I hope you are having a bleurgh-free day!

Yours truly,

Mo  x

Read It Or Not: 'The Fault In Our Stars' by John Green

John Green. Is. Amazing.

Fact.

After reading 'The Fault In Our Stars' the thought of being a writer seemed that much more appealing to me. I won't lie, I did feel inadequate to ever share my work/worlds with the world after reading his novel but I quickly banished such thoughts and resumed admiring his work. I am definitely going to buy his other books as I have a sneaky suspicion that I will like them all.

'The Fault In Our Stars' is a book about the life of a girl named Hazel Grace, who unfortunately has cancer, changed after an encounter with a boy named Augustus Waters at a Support Group meeting. One would think that this would be a heartbreakingly sad and morbid book and you are half-right. There are moments in the book where tears will well up in your eyes but that could due to the fragility of life or the beauty of the small moments that rack our ribs with laughter.

I remember feeling slightly inept when I read the book as some statements will go straight over my head. I would read it over and over again until I understood exactly what was deemed funny, beautiful, sad or down right tragic by the characters within this novel because I wanted to be a part of the story that was evolving with each turn of the page. It has now challenged me to step out of my comfort zone and read about a wider range of topics than the ones I am used to and to brush up my vocabulary. Crossword puzzles here I come!

'The Fault In Our Stars' is a great read. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would advise anyone and everyone to read it at least once. The book is woven with quirky banter, heart, emotions and intelligence. 

Read it or not. That's your choice.

Yours truly,

Mo x

Update
P.S Apparently they are making the film adaptation of the book and is rumored to be released in 2014/2015 :O Can't wait to see what they come up with!!!

Letters: # 3

[source]

A new Letter will be posted on a Sunday until the end of this series.

Enjoy!

Yours truly,

Mo x







Dearest Funmi,

I have no idea if this letter will even reach your pretty little hands but I thought I'll give it a go. I can't believe that your parents sent you all the way to NIGERIA because of that liiiiiitle hiccup last week (Hi Mr & Mrs A if you are reading this- soo not impressed with your decision btw). It wasn't even your fault! This place is not the same without you, F. Gloria is already making her move. The slut! She didn't even wait for the dust to settle before she tried to get her dirty little paws on the new guy at school. Poor Jack is still reeling from catching her pantie-handed. Not her finest moment. Although, when has there ever been? lol.

Hope it's not unbearably hot there and that you actually get to enjoy the sun. Tola said it's summer all year round there. It's tippin it down here as usual. I wish I could come visit or that we could at least talk on Skype. Have to say, this is a bit of an ancient way to communicate. 

Come back to me!!!

Luv you,

Kate xxx


P.S. Let me know if this is covert status